What Is Emotional Neglect?

When it comes to mental health, there are many factors that contribute to our emotional well-being. We often focus on traumas and abuse, thinking about the worst scenarios and how they can impact our development. However, there is a more subtle form of harm that can affect us more than we may realize: emotional neglect. Emotional neglect can leave deep wounds that shape our relationships, self-esteem, and overall mental health.

What Is Emotional Neglect?

Emotional neglect is the failure to provide emotional support, attention, and validation to a child, spouse, or loved one. Unlike physical abuse, emotional neglect is often characterized by what doesn't happen — rather than what does. There is a lack of nurturing, empathy, and support that can be just as harmful as any other form of mistreatment.

What Does Emotional Neglect Look Like?

This form of neglect can manifest in many ways, including:

No Emotional Availability

Parents, caregivers, or partners may be physically present but emotionally distant, meaning they are unable to connect on an emotional level. This can look like dismissing someone's feelings, being unresponsive to their needs, or failing to express love and affection.

Ignoring Emotional Expression

Children may learn to suppress their emotions because they have been constantly dismissed or ignored when they were trying to express themselves. This can lead to emotional difficulties later in life, causing issues in romantic relationships due to their inability to express thoughts and feelings.

Invalidation

Emotional neglect involves invalidating a person's feelings or experiences. These statements may sound like "you're overreacting," or "stop being so sensitive" when trying to express emotions. Comments like these can make the individual feel unimportant and misunderstood.

Lack of Boundaries

In some cases, emotional neglect can result from rigid or nonexistent boundaries within a relationship dynamic. The lack of healthy boundaries can lead to a sense of confusion and instability, ultimately causing an individual to struggle to understand their own emotions and needs.

The Impact of Emotional Neglect

The effects of emotional neglect may not be present right away, but they can have long-lasting repercussions on one's well-being. These consequences may look like:

Low Self-Esteem

Being a part of relationships that do not give enough emotional validation can lead to feelings of unworthiness and inadequacy. Individuals may struggle with confidence and develop a negative self-image of themselves due to not feeling valued or accepted.

Difficulty Forming Relationships

Emotional neglect can impact the ability to form healthy relationship skills. There may be a lack of trust, refusal to express needs, and inability to establish meaningful connections, leading to feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Emotional Dysregulation

Without proper guidance, individuals may never learn to understand and express their emotions effectively. They can struggle with regulating themselves and have emotional outbursts, increase of sadness and irritability, and just a general sense of instability.

Psychological Disorders

Emotional neglect has been linked to various mental disorders, such as depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Breaking the Cycle

Recognition is the first step in breaking the cycle of emotional neglect. Individuals who experience this neglect may unintentionally pass it on through their personal relationships, so it's important to learn to heal from their past and cope with the effects.

Give yourself time and patience to accept the neglect of the past. It's not easy to manage the effects that come with it, but be kind to yourself and work through any issues at your own pace. Practice self-compassion by engaging in pleasurable activities, process thoughts and emotions, and lean on social supports.

One of the best things you can do is seek help from a mental health professional. Therapists can help individuals understand the impacts of emotional neglect and develop strategies for healing. If you feel that you have been impacted by emotional neglect, reach out and schedule a session today for couples therapy.