Effective Strategies for Fixing a Sexless Marriage

Marriage is a commitment that requires effort, patience, and unconditional love. Throughout the years, couples will face many challenges, one being a lack or decrease of intimacy. When a marriage becomes sexless, it can lead to feelings of  frustration, loneliness, and disconnect. It's important to recognize that this does not mean the marriage is over, but rather it's a sign that there are underlying issues that need to be addressed. Let's explore some effective strategies for fixing this lack of intimacy and rekindling the spark in the relationship.

Causes for a Decrease in Intimacy

  • Poor communication or leaving unresolved conflicts can create barriers to intimacy in a marriage. No communication can lead to feelings of disconnect with one another.

  • Stress and exhaustion can take over your lives, creating busy schedules, focusing extra time and energy on work and parenting responsibilities. Couples can start to feel drained and disconnected.

  • Emotional distance and unresolved emotional issues can dampen the desire for physical intimacy.

  • Physical or mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, or chronic illness can lead to a decrease in sexual desire and libido.

  • Trouble with relationship dynamics, such as power struggles, resentment, or unmet needs within the relationship can contribute to a decline in intimacy.

Strategies for Fixing a Sexless Marriage

Addressing the lack of intimacy requires patience, understanding, and effort from both partners. There are several ways to recreate intimacy and strengthen passion.

Open Communication

photo of a couple sitting together on a bed

Create a safe, non-judgmental space for honest conversations about feelings, desires, and concerns regarding intimacy. It can help to practice active listening and empathy, seeking to understand your partner's perspective without judgment or defensiveness. Discuss any other underlying issues that may be contributing to the disconnect, and work together to find solutions.

Emotional Connection

Focus on building emotional intimacy through shared activities and interests, meaningful conversations, and gestures of affection outside of the bedroom. Practice regularly expressing appreciation and love to each other to strengthen the emotional bond. In order to increase physical intimacy, it's important to rebuild the emotional connection first.

Schedule Intimacy

Set aside time to dedicate for intimate moments, such as date nights, a weekend getaway, or even just spending quality time at home. It may also be beneficial to experiment with different ways of connecting intimately, whether it's more physical contact by cuddling and kissing, or trying new activities together. Be open to exploring each other's desires and preferences without pressure or setting expectations.

Address Physical and Mental Health

Prioritize self-care practices that promote physical and mental well-being, like regular exercise, adequate sleep, healthy eating, and managing stress. Schedule medical appointments if you feel there could be physical issues that affects libido or sexual desire. Try exploring relaxing activities to do together, such as yoga, meditation, or sensual experiences.

Forgiveness and Understanding

While it may be difficult, try to let go of any resentment or grudges from the past, and focus on moving forward with forgiveness, compassion, and love. Practice empathy and placing yourself in your partner's shoes to see the situation from their perspective. Acknowledge their feelings and needs with kindness and patience. Rebuilding intimacy is not going to improve overnight. Celebrate small achievements along the way and praise each other for effort.

Professional Help

One of the best ways to fix a sexless marriage would be to seek help from a mental health professional. Marital counseling can teach effective methods of communication, conflict resolution skills, and ways to rebuild intimacy. They can also explore what other underlying issues are present that may be contributing to the decrease in sexual desire. If you and your partner feel that couples therapy can benefit you, reach out and schedule a session today!

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