Premarital Counseling
Do You And Your Fiancé Want Help Planning Your Future Together?
Are both of you excited to get married but also nervous about what lies ahead?
Do you want to iron out any kinks in your relationship before the wedding day?
Have new conflicts arisen and made you wonder if you’re really making the right choice?
Maybe you both feel over the moon about the wedding, but you’re also stressed and exhausted from planning it. You may have moments of doubt and uncertainty and worry that you’re not fully prepared for marriage. Both of you want to create a solid foundation by anticipating any future conflicts and exploring your expectations for what your marriage should look like. As a result, you may be thinking it’s time to see a premarital therapist.
Preparing For Marriage Means Discussing Roles, Expectations, And Values
Congratulations on finding your person! You’re embarking on a wonderful and exciting journey that could last for the rest of your life. As happy a thought as that may be, starting a lifelong commitment means working through any issues pre-emptively and proactively. You and your significant other will have to figure out what your roles will be, how you’ll handle finances, whether you’ll have children, and what values you’ll hold. You’ll also have to sort through questions like who you’ll spend holidays with and how involved your in-laws will be in your life together.
Sorting through these questions often requires professional help, and that’s why I’m here. Whether you’re engaged, thinking about it, or recently married, premarital counseling can help you and your fiancé improve your current relationship, plan for the future, and create a bond that’s able to stand strong throughout the storms of life.
Many People Grow Up With Less-Than-Healthy Relationship Models
Starting a marriage off on solid footing isn’t easy. After all, most people didn’t grow up with healthy examples of marriages around them. They may have grown up in a single parent home or in a home with parents who were divorced or had a dysfunctional marriage. As a result, many couples are determined not to repeat the mistakes their parents made. But while it’s easy to know what you don’t want in your marriage, it’s much harder to figure out what you do want.
Creating a different marriage than the ones you saw modeled for you requires learning specific skills for relating to your partner. No one is born instinctively knowing how to create a healthy home—it’s something that has to be learned, taught, and practiced.
In Today’s World, People’s Expectations For Marriage Are Often Unrealistic
We all come into our relationships with a certain set of expectations. And in the social media age, it’s tempting to expect too much out of relationships. All over social media, we see star-crossed depictions of romance and photos of couples falling head over heels for each other. The problem is that these relationship portrayals are more fantasy than reality. No one’s marriage is all hearts and rainbows 24/7.
Premarital counseling is an opportunity to give your expectations a reality-check and make sure that you and your partner are prepared for the challenges of marriage. Joining lives with someone can be beautiful, but it also comes with its challenges, and that’s why getting help is so essential.
Premarital Counseling Can Help You Build A Marriage That’s Rich In Intimacy And Friendship
Let’s face it: you and your significant other have probably seen marriages that made you think, “We don’t want to end up like that.” The good news is that you don’t have to. This is your marriage, not anyone else’s. Both of you have complete control over the course of your relationship. While that freedom can be exhilarating, it can also be scary. You might feel overwhelmed knowing that your marriage can be whatever you want it to be.
Counseling is a chance to co-create the kind of marriage you’ve always dreamed of in a safe, judgment-free environment. Together, we’ll work on mapping your hopes and dreams, creating a shared mission of meaning and purpose, and building a marriage that’s rich in both intimacy and friendship.
What To Expect In Premarital Therapy Sessions
Our work together will start with an initial assessment session where I’ll meet with you both to talk about your relationship and determine if premarital therapy is appropriate for you. If you decide that it’s appropriate, I will give you an online relationship assessment to take after the session is done (it should only take about 30 minutes).
It’s important that you and your partner take the assessment separately, answer honestly, and avoid discussing your answers with each other. Once I receive the results, I will prepare your personalized Couples’ Report and tailor the rest of therapy based on your assessment.
All in all, there are usually eight sessions of counseling before the wedding, but you and your fiancé are welcome to purchase more sessions if you feel that additional marriage preparation is needed. I offer both online and in-person premarital counseling, allowing couples to choose whichever option works best.
Creating Your Premarital Counseling Plan
I primarily use the Prepare-and-Enrich model in premarital counseling. This approach focuses on preparing you for where you want your relationship to go and enriching the relationship you have right now. The goal is to help you explore your strengths, improve communication, understand personality differences, and maximize teamwork.
In addition to the Prepare-and-Enrich model, I use the Gottman Method and Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) when necessary. The Gottman Method seeks to help couples deepen their intimacy and create a life of shared meaning together, while EFT is more focused on attachment styles, emotional needs, and interactive patterns.
In the end, we know that planning the wedding can be all-consuming and take up so much time and attention, but it’s far more important to plan for your marriage. There is no greater investment you can make than getting to know yourself and your partner on a deeper level. Doing so can help you ensure that you have both a beautiful wedding and a beautiful marriage.
You May Have Some Questions About Premarital Therapy…
Are we going to end up separating because we find out something we don’t like?
The point of premarital counseling is to strengthen your relationship. I want to help you lift up the rug and sweep out all your unresolved issues so that you can build a firm foundation together. If there are issues that haven’t been acknowledged before, it’s always better to find out sooner rather than later. After all, wouldn’t you rather be aware of all the potential problems in your relationship than build your foundation on a stack of wishful thinking?
What if my partner isn’t sure about this relationship?
As a premarital counselor, I’m not here to decide whether or not you stay together—that’s for you and your fiancé to decide. My role is to give you the tools to prepare for the challenges of marriage. If you decide that this relationship isn’t for you, then that’s okay—either way, what you discover about yourself and your relationship is valuable and enriching.
What if we have a great relationship? Do we really need this?
Premarital counseling isn’t just for couples questioning their future—it’s for any couple who’s preparing to tie the knot. Even if you and your partner aren’t experiencing lots of conflict today, relationships can change. Counseling can help you anticipate future disagreements and give you the skills to navigate them peacefully. In that sense, it can empower you to maintain the great relationship that you already have.
You Deserve To Go Into Your Marriage With Peace Of Mind
Premarital counseling is the place to achieve that peace of mind, ensuring that you and your fiancé have the relationship skills to weather whatever storms come your way. To get in touch with me, you can call 954-408-8484 or use the contact page to book a free consultation.
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