Exploring Common Myths Surrounding Couples Counseling
Couples counseling can be a valuable resource for many relationships. Despite its potential to mend bonds and overcome barriers, it is often clouded by misconceptions and myths. Without fully understanding the reality of couples therapy, some people may have unrealistic expectations of these sessions, and can be weary of seeking help from a professional. Let's discuss these myths further, and shed light on the reality of couples therapy.
Only Troubled Relationships Need Counseling
Myth: Couples counseling is only for relationships that are about to collapse. Counseling is for discussing and dealing with major issues, such as infidelity, financial ruin, constant fighting, and general unhappiness. Therapy is a last resort effort in trying to salvage or fix the relationship before separation.
Reality: Seeking counseling early on in the relationship can prevent minor issues from progressing to major blow ups. It provides a safe space for couples to address concerns, strengthen their connection to each other, and develop healthier ways of interacting. It can also be beneficial for improving communication skills, understanding one another, and navigating major life transitions.
Counseling Is About Taking Sides
Myth: During therapy sessions, couples will present their problems with each other and have the professional determine who is right and who is wrong. Counseling is about assigning blame to each issue and who is at fault. The therapist will side with whoever they believe to be right and tell the other partner what they need to do to fix these problems.
Reality: In truth, therapists will remain impartial and unbiased when conducting sessions. They will listen to both sides thoroughly and find ways to help the couple problem-solve on their own. Counseling encourages both sides to take responsibility for their actions and identify ways they can both improve within in their relationship. This happens by recognizing behavior patterns, understanding triggers, and enhancing effective communication.
Both Partners Need to Attend
Myth: If one partner refuses to engage in couples counseling, there is no benefit to discussing relationship issues alone. Someone attending these sessions alone will only improve one side of the relationship and it will fail anyway.
Reality: While it is ideal for both partners to participate, it is not needed when working on relationship dynamics. Individual counseling can be beneficial for exploring personal thoughts, emotions, and behaviors within their partnership. They may even gain more positive insight on how to improve the dynamic. Attending sessions alone may even motivate the other partner to eventually join in the future.
Counseling Guarantees Relationship Success
Myth: Going to counseling will fix every and all relationship issues. You will find effective solutions to your problems and will save the relationship from separation.
Reality: The success of therapy depends on the willingness and commitment of both partners, and even then it is not a guarantee. It may actually lead to the realization that separation or divorce is the healthiest decision for both people. Even if this is the case, counseling can help guide this transition with mutual respect and understanding.
Counseling Is Expensive and Time-Consuming
Myth: Counseling is not affordable and will take a lot of time and commitment throughout your week. Investing this time and money may not be worth it.
Reality: While therapy can be costly, it's important to do research about different agencies, counselors, and insurance policies. Some therapists may even offer sliding scale fees or allow a creation of a payment plan. For some, investing the time and money might be worth the longevity of the relationship.
Couples counseling can be a valuable and useful tool to help a relationship flourish and grow. If you feel that you and your partner may benefit from couples therapy, do some research and schedule a consultation today!