6 Ways To Help Your Partner Feel Validated
Validation, a healthy component of any relationship, involves recognizing and accepting your partner's feelings, thoughts, and experiences. When your partner feels this validation, they also feel heard, understood, and respected, which can ultimately deepen your emotional connection. Here are 6 ways to validate your partner to foster a more supportive and loving relationship.
1. Active Listening
There's more to active listening than just hearing what your partner is saying; active listening involves engaging with them and showing genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings. When your partner speaks, make a conscious effort to listen without interrupting or thinking of your response. Pay attention to their body language, tone of voice, and emotions.
To practice active listening:
Maintain eye contact: Show that you are focused on them.
Nod and use verbal affirmations: Use simple phrases like "I see" or "I understand" to show engagement.
Reflect and paraphrase: Repeat back what you heard in your own words to ensure understanding.
2. Empathy and Understanding
Empathy involves putting yourself in your partner's shoes and seeing things from their perspective. It's about acknowledging their emotions and showing that you care. For instance, your partner is having a bad day at work. It may be helpful to say, "That sounds really tough. I can see why you're feeling stressed." Practicing empathy helps with validation because it shows that their emotions are important.
3. Avoid Judgement and Criticism
Even if you disagree with your partner's feelings or perspectives, try to avoid criticism or defensive comments. Judgement can make your partner feel unvalued.
Instead of telling your partner, "You're overreacting," try, "I understand that this situation is really upsetting for you." You are acknowledging their feelings without invalidating them. You want to create a safe space where your partner feels comfortable expressing themselves to enhance trust and intimacy in your relationship.
4. Show Appreciation
Expressing appreciation for your partner can go a long way. Regularly verbalize what you appreciate about them, whether it's their efforts, qualities, or actions. Acknowledge their hard work, dedication, and support within your relationship. Statements like these show that you notice and value your partner's contributions and presence in your life. Some examples of appreciation and gratitude may look like:
"I appreciate how hard you have been working lately."
"Thank you for being supportive and understanding of me."
"I enjoy spending quality time together and appreciate you setting aside time for us."
5. Be Present
Being present means giving your partner your full attention when you're together. This involves putting away distractions, such as phones or other electronics, and focusing entirely on them during conversations or shared activities. When you're present, it shows that you prioritize your partner and value your time spent together. During difficult or emotional conversations, this is extremely important. Presence is a powerful way to demonstrate that you care, and that your partner's experiences matter to you.
6. Communicate Openly and Honestly
Open and honest communication is essential for validation. Encourage your partner to share their thoughts and feelings by creating an environment where open dialogue is welcomed. Be honest with your own emotions as well. When discussing sensitive topics, use "I" statements to express feeling without placing blame.
"I feel upset when we do not spend quality time together," rather than, "You never want to spend time with me."
This approach promotes constructive conversations and reduces defensiveness. Open communication can help your partner feel safe, knowing that their feelings will be met with honesty and respect.
Validation is a fundamental aspect of any strong relationship. Remember, this is an ongoing process that requires patience, love, and care. If you and your partner are struggling, seek help from a mental health professional. Therapists are trained in providing validation, and can help build this concept into your relationship. Reach out to schedule a couples therapy session today!