Things to Know About Your Partner Before You Tie the Knot
Marriage is a beautiful journey filled with close partnerships, growth, and love. As any relationship, marriage comes with its own set of challenges. Understanding each others' needs and how to express affection is important for building a healthy marriage. It's most helpful to explore these concepts before officially saying "I do."
How They Receive Love
So how important are "love languages" in a marriage? You may remember hearing about 5 different love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts.
Recent research suggests that while these are important aspects of giving and receiving love, people do not identify with just one primary love language. All of these love languages are equally important in a relationship.
Yes, it's possible to have preferences. For example, one person may enjoy physical touch more than they do giving gifts. However, having a preference of physical touch does not mean that giving gifts isn't as important.
Before a marriage, it can be beneficial to take some time to discuss what makes your partner feel loved. Learn each others' preferences, and ask general questions about love:
What can I do that makes you feel loved?
How can I show that I care about you?
What will make you feel safe and secure in our relationship?
Communication Styles
Communication is essential in all relationships. People may have different ways of communicating with each other, ranging from being open and direct, to passive and dismissive.
Determine if your partner is an open and frequent communicator, or if they need time to process their thoughts before sharing them.
Discuss how you handle conflicts: Do you prefer to handle the issue immediately? How much time do you need to think things over?
Practice having open dialogues about your needs and expectations.
Life Goals
Alignment with life goals and values is another aspect to explore before marriage. Having a clear understanding of what each partner wants in life helps prevent misunderstandings later on.
Have continuous conversations about long-term aspirations, career ambitions, financial goals, and lifestyle choices. Do you prioritize career growth or family life?
Discuss core values like religion, spirituality, and moral beliefs.
Talk about plans around having children, parenting philosophies, and views on finances. Having these conversations early on ensures you are on the same page before officially getting married.
Financial Attitudes
Money can be one of the most common sources of tension in a marriage. Understanding how your partner approaches finances can help you navigate these decisions smoothly.
Discuss spending habits and any debts you may have. Transparency is key to building trust and preventing financial struggles.
Talk about your financial priorities. Are you both comfortable with saving? Do you prefer spending money on experiences? Gifts? Home investments?
Decide on a budget together and set guidelines for handling joint and individual expenses. Establishing a plan ensures that both partners feel secure and respected.
Embracing Differences
No two people are identical, and embracing differences is crucial for a healthy marriage. Personality and personal preferences will likely vary, and that's okay!
Acknowledge each other's unique perspectives and try to compromise without changing one another.
Appreciate what each person brings to the relationship: sometimes differences can balance each other in beautiful ways.
Approach differences as opportunities to learn and grow together as a couple.
Pre-Marital Counseling
Couples counseling is a great way to talk through everything before tying the knot. Going through counseling as you prepare for marriage can help with strengthening bonds, addressing potential issues, and developing better skills.
Therapy allows for difficult conversations to happen in a safe place that is free of judgment.
Couples counseling can reveal patterns in how each partner gives and receives love, helping you tailor your expressions of love that resonate with each other.
Getting ready to walk down the aisle? Look into scheduling a session with a mental health professional today!