How to Handle Parenthood While Prioritizing Your Marriage
Sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, school runs—yes, these are the joyous responsibilities of parenthood! While we know that parenting is no easy task, it's a skill that naturally builds over time. But with all the running around and endless organizing, couples may find themselves at a disconnect. It's a difficult balance, and it's important to nurture your marriage while also raising children—not only for your relationship, but also for creating a loving environment for your children!
So, how do you find that balance?
Prioritize Quality Time Together
Once children enter the picture, finding alone time can be nearly impossible. However, you want to find moments to fit in quality time, because it strengthens your relationships with one another, ultimately making you better parents.
Schedule Regular Date Nights: It can be a fancy dinner out or a cozy movie night when the kids are asleep.
Unplug from Distractions: Be fully present with each other, even if it's just sharing a cup of coffee in the morning before the hustle of the day begins.
Make Those Small Moments Count: A quick hug, a thoughtful text, or a shared laugh makes a big impact when maintaining intimacy.
Communicate Often
Remember, no one is a mind reader! We cannot assume what our partners are thinking or feeling throughout the day. Trying to juggle parenthood may mean that sometimes communication can slip through the cracks.
Check in With Each Other Daily: Ask how your partner is feeling, how are they adjusting to parental roles, what they need, and how to support them.
Express Gratitude: Even the little things your spouse does, like cooking, cleaning, bathing the kids, or taking care of chores.
Talk About Your Struggles and Concerns: Do this openly rather than bottling up your feelings.
Work as a Team
Parenting is not a solo mission. Teamwork makes the dream work! And it is key to keeping both your family and marriage healthy.
Divide Parenting Responsibilities: This should be done in a way that feels balanced and fair to both partners.
Support Each Other's Individual Parenting Styles: It's important to do this while maintaining consistency for your children.
Take Turns Giving Each Other Breaks: Whether it's alone time to recharge your energy, or the opportunity to sleep in on the weekends.
Keep the Romance Alive
It's easy to fall into a routine where romance takes a backseat. But keeping the spark alive is essential for a thriving marriage.
Surprise Each Other: Small acts of love, such as leaving sweet notes, planning a spontaneous outing, or cooking their favorite meals can go a long way.
Show Physical Affection: When you can, through hugs, kisses, or holding hands.
Have Intimate Conversations: Talks that go beyond the methods of parenting help to reconnect on a deeper level.
Practice Patience and Grace
Parenting is tough. You'll both have moments of exhaustion, frustration, and even resentment towards each other. Give each other grace as you navigate through these challenges together.
Accept That Imperfection Is Normal: There will be messy days, arguments, and plenty of mistakes, but that's okay! That is what being a parent is all about.
Apologize and Forgive Quickly: When conflicts arise, rather than letting resentment and anger build, apologize.
Be Empathetic: When facing struggles, remember that both partners are learning and growing as parents together.
Seek Help When Needed
There is absolutely no shame in reaching out for help when parenthood and marriage feel like they're drowning you.
Ask for Support From Family and Friends: This can help you and your spouse take much-needed breaks.
Join a Parenting or Couples' Support Group: Connect with other parents who can understand your journey.
Consider Marriage Counseling or Coaching: If you feel stuck in a cycle of constant conflict or disconnect, couples therapy can help guide you towards a fulfilling, healthy marriage while maintaining positive parenting skills. Call me for more information!