Getting Married? How to Set You and Your Partner Up for Success
Wedding bells are ringing and love is in the air! Preparing for marriage can be such an exciting time, but a lifelong commitment to your partner is not something to take lightly. Before you tie the knot and settle down, it may be beneficial to seek premarital counseling. It's important to understand the wants and needs of your partner as well as being on the same page about what your future together looks like. Premarital counseling can help build this foundation before you get married.
Topics for Discussion
There are a range of important issues to discuss with your partner before getting married. Some may include:
Finances: Money is one of the leading causes of divorce. Deciding how to manage your finances in the future can prevent problems down the road.
Beliefs and Values: Morals, politics, and religion can be major areas of conflict. Having open discussions about personal views may help you understand and respect your partner better.
Quality Time: Spending time together to maintain a connection is important in a marriage. Discuss activities you like to do together and ways to continue spending quality time.
Children: One of the most important topics to be on the same page about is whether or not you want children. It can become a severe problem if you realize too late that one person wants children and the other does not.
Family: Before marriage, it is important to discuss your partner's family dynamic and voice any concerns you may have about their family relationships.
Benefits of Premarital Counseling
During sessions, you and your partner will learn tools to help you navigate difficult situations in a healthy way. Therapy offers many benefits individually and as a team.
1. Communication
You will work on ongoing issues and learn effective ways to communicate. Talking about emotions can be challenging and it can be easy to blame and accuse the other person of making you feel a certain way. Therapy will teach you ways to communicate emotions without blaming or criticizing your partner.
2. Conflict Resolution
Communication can often lead to conflict, but with proper techniques, you and your partner will be able to solve issues effectively without emotions getting in the way. Remember, it is you and your partner versus the conflict, not you versus your partner.
3. Decision-Making
You and your partner are a team, which means that throughout your marriage you will need to agree on decisions. Weighing pros and cons with one another and communicating opinions will be helpful when faced with a decision you cannot seem to agree on.
4. Focus on the Positives
When you are with the same person for a long time, it can be easy to fall into a habit of focusing on everything wrong with the relationship. Counseling will help reframe your mindset and turn negatives into positives.
5. Setting Expectations
Everyone has differing views on what marriages should look like. Talking about these expectations and making them realistic helps set the precedent for the relationship.
6. Understanding Your Partner
Developing a better understanding on how your partner works sets up a successful working partnership. You will want to know the ins and outs of your partner, understanding their thoughts, emotions, strengths, weaknesses, and life goals. This will strengthen your connection and build a solid foundation.
7. Effectiveness
Engaging in premarital counseling will help you determine whether or not your partner is the right fit for marriage. Diving into the deep issues may be uncomfortable, but it will show whether or not you and your partner will be able to handle conflict. Counseling may show that the relationship will not last, which will be important to know before officially getting married. If you believe that premarital counseling will benefit you, reach out and schedule a session today for premarital or couples therapy.