5 Issues You Can Expect to Discuss at Premarital Counseling
Couples counseling are two words that can launch a thousand images. For many, if not all people, going to therapy with your partner is a sign of dysfunction, distress, or disaster.
Sure, there are plenty of instances in which a couple seeks help during a crisis. However, an increasing number of people view therapy as much more than emergency care.
Take, for example, premarital counseling. In the past, it appeared counterintuitive to seek help long before you pledge till death do you part. These days, couples of all ages recognize the need to address questions and concerns before they can erupt into problems.
What Is Premarital Counseling?
You can ascertain the literal definition of the term. But here’s just a little of what premarital counseling in action looks like:
It’s a safe space where no topic or question is off-limits.
A session is a chance to address and analyze your (often unconscious) preconceptions about marriage.
It's your golden opportunity to examine your expectations and discuss your roles as one-half of a partnership.
5 Issues You Can Expect to Discuss at Premarital Counseling
We all grow up within a culture that creates and conditions deeply-held beliefs about the married life. Without putting a right or wrong judgment value on these assumptions, it is necessary to explore them. Premarital counseling will shine a light on a wide range of factors that can impact your relationship.
1. Past
To follow up on the above, your past experiences must be discussed. You and your partner may be on the same wavelength. You may finish each other’s sentences. But you are two unique individuals with two unique sets of influences. Recognizing and respecting this dynamic can prevent much heartache in the future.
2. Conflict
We are often led to believe that happy couples never fight. But disagreements and arguments are inevitable and expected. Premarital counseling will help you accept this vital reality.
Knowing that conflict is normal allows you to prepare in advance for dealing with it. With the help of your therapist, you’ll identify (among other things):
Triggers
Underlying causes
Individual fighting styles
From there, you can hone in on the essential skill of healthy conflict resolution. Arguments won’t feel as daunting when you have the tools to manage them.
3. Money
In our topsy-turvy world — especially in 2020 — personal finances are a perpetual work-in-progress. No two people view money issues the same way. Therefore, when those two people team up to become one couple, compromise must rule the day. You will be super grateful that you talked about this topic before things got contentious.
4. Sex
Sure, in the premarital days, lust seems to be the least of your concerns. But the demands of everyday life can cramp your sexual style. Two facts to bear in mind about your intimacy needs:
They never stop evolving
They must never be taken for granted
5. Compatibility
We’re talking about general compatibility, of course, but there will be some big, somewhat universal questions you’ll likely have to answer as a team. Such topics include:
Starting a family
Where to live
Own or rent?
Dealing with extended families
Religion and spirituality
Besides money (above), there are decisions about career, work hours, etc.
It’s easy but dangerous to assume a “we’ll cross that bridge when we get it” vibe. No one can plan for everything, but some compatibility issues must be exposed ASAP.
How to Start Pre-Premarital Counseling
It is a genuinely positive development that so many couples are opting for premarital counseling these days. If you’re curious but perhaps unsure, that makes sense. Reach out today to learn more via a free consultation. You can consider it pre-premarital counseling!