Getting Cold Feet: Tips for Overcoming Pre-Wedding Anxiety
Weddings are meant to be one of the best days—if not the best day—of a couple's life. For many, all of that excitement combined with prenuptial jitters can lead to anxiety.
Being anxious before your wedding is normal, but it’s important to take a look at why you’re getting anxious—or cold feet. It’s just as important to find ways to overcome the anxiety so you can focus on enjoying your wedding day.
Make To-Do Lists
Throughout the process, make to-do lists for both short-term and long-term. Make lists for things that need to be done 90, 60, and 30 days out. Determine what tasks need to be done the week of the wedding and the day of the wedding. Breaking up tasks like this can make the overwhelming list of things to do more manageable and may help curb some of that anxiety.
Go with the Flow
When planning a wedding, it’s important to be ready for some imperfection to occur. It’s inevitable that something will happen. But it's important to remember that everything will be okay. Try not to stress yourself out with micromanaging every single detail of the planning process. The wedding will be great no matter what flowers, food, music, and venue you choose.
What's most important is spending time with those you love, and who love you the most. Worrying less about the smaller details can help ease some anxiety.
Talk Through Issues
Some common wedding issues are: bridal party, budget, and wedding vision.
Bridal Party: You might have bridesmaids or groomsmen who just are not clicking with each other. Or maybe they are not living up to what you were expecting out of them. If this is something that is going to impact your day in a negative way, try to speak to those impacting you first. At the end of the day, the people standing with you should be your biggest supporters, if someone isn’t making you feel supported, it’s okay to tell them.
Budget: This one is key. Before planning, it’s important to talk to your future spouse and when appropriate, immediate family, to see how much they plan to contribute.
Before making decisions, it’s important to know how much you have to work with. By doing this ahead of planning, it can save you stress down the road.
Wedding Vision: It’s okay to have things that you definitely want or do not want at a wedding. Maybe there are songs on your “must play” or “must skip list” or you have foods and flowers that you want there. Pick the things that are most important to you and your partner so they can be positive things to work towards.
Take Time for Yourself
As much as you want to focus on and talk about wedding details every day, it’s important to take time for yourself. It’s easy to be consumed by all things wedding leading up to the big day. Taking time for other things happening around you will help manage the pre-wedding anxiety.
Talk to Your Partner
Before the wedding day there are a lot of tasks, both big and small, that need to be done. Your partner is there to help you. If there are tasks that their half of the wedding party needs to complete, let your partner take on that task to get something off of your plate. One of the biggest stressors can be the guest list—lean on your partner to help manage it, whether it is the initial list or RSVPs.
As always, remember that your wedding day is what you make of it. If you have a great time, it will be a great time.
If you are still having a difficult time managing your anxiety, it can help to speak to a professional. Reach out to learn more about premarital counseling.
