Communication Tips For A Healthier Relationship
Couples can face many challenges in their relationships. While many moments feel like bliss, the truth is they don't always feel this way. They take time, commitment, and effort to make them run as smoothly as possible.
Relationships, more than anything else, should be built on a strong foundation of trust, honesty, and communication. Couples can face particular issues in their relationship that jeopardize their bliss with one another. However, one of the most common problem areas for couples is communication. When a communication breakdown occurs, it can lead to larger areas of conflict and tension. This post aims to give all couples pointers on how to improve their communication skills.
Communication Tips For Couples
1. Make Time For Conversations
At the beginning of your relationship, you likely had a lot of time to carve out for one another. You could spend hours talking and never run out of things to say. After a time, however, you may have noticed that you can't find things to talk about. Part of this issue is that many couples fall into a rut of only checking in about the basics.
"How was your day? What's going on for the weekend?"
These are great to do, but these questions don't often lead to lengthy conversations. Instead, try to carve out some time each day or night to talk with one another. Some starter conversation topics could be asking about the projects you have going on at work. Or, what aspects of life are stressing you out the most? Maybe even talk about the things you are looking forward to most with each other, whether that is about an upcoming vacation or an event you are going to.
This is also an excellent opportunity to discuss parenting issues if you have children together.
2. Honesty, Not Cruelty
Let's face it, it's inevitable that at some point, your partner is going to make you mad or upset you. This is when we see relationships start to have more conflict. We often approach our partners from a place of resentment and anger instead of compassion and understanding.
Be honest with them and remember that they can't read your mind. For example, you could say, "It upsets me when you don't seem to want to pitch in more with the household responsibilities." These "I" statements help you talk about what is bothering you without placing accusatory blame on each other.
After all, this is still your partner, so you should always treat them with respect and not belittle them.
3. Truly Listen To Them
You can listen to someone without truly hearing them. Active listening involves understanding what the other person is saying. Try to listen to their perspective rather than what you want to hear. How do they say they feel? Ask questions if you aren't sure about something.
Also, try not to interrupt each other when speaking. Interrupting the other person will likely result in you talking over one another until you eventually shout. Giving each other the floor to speak freely without interjecting can help them understand that you are truly trying to see their point of view.
4. Walk Away From Each Other
You're in an argument that doesn't seem to be getting anywhere. It's human nature to try and continue the conversation, even if you are going in circles. Instead of doing this, try to walk away from each other. Agree that for right now, you need to drop this subject until a later point in time. Regroup away from each other to give yourselves time to cool down. Just be sure to start the conversation back up.
5. Don't Bring Up The Past
Another point of tension for couples is when you are arguing about one thing and then suddenly, it turns into something else. If you are arguing about one specific topic, such as household responsibilities, keep it at that subject matter. Don't switch it up to throw something unrelated in their face.
Keeping the topic on point can prevent things from spiraling out of control.
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Communication breakdowns in relationships can often point to larger issues. If you find yourselves constantly in conflict, don't hesitate to seek couples therapy to help get things back on track. Contact me to learn more.